


es wird nie mehr sein, wie es war

by doubtthestars



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Male Character, F/M, FIFA World Cup 2014, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubtthestars/pseuds/doubtthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does it truly mean to be a soulmate?</p><p>Maybe they're a little in love with each other, but maybe it didn't matter. Poldi and Basti through the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	es wird nie mehr sein, wie es war

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been teasing a new soulmate AU in the works for ages but had no plot to showcase what I wanted to do until this fell into my lap. So here you go. Hope it's not too much of a mess.
> 
> or, an unofficial love letter to Lukas Josef Podolski.

He doesn't need to see behind him to know when the bride comes down the aisle because his hearts start beating faster as Ana approaches. Lukas was more focused on keeping on eye on Bastian's face anyway, that was what he liked most about weddings beyond a good cake. The face of the groom as his wife-to-be comes down the aisle is like a peek at the future they'll have together.

There's nothing but joy and a big smile and, of course, his heart safely pounding away in both their chests.

Lukas meets his eyes for a second, a small glance of reassurance between them. He almost sends him a thumbs up but Monika would disapprove at his side so he only smiles and taps his chest twice. Words weren't necessary. Lukas knew Basti, and he knew that this was the right choice, the right person for him.

He won't cry, but pride sticks in his throat throughout the ceremony and makes his voice hoarse as he shouts his congratulations to the newlyweds coming out of the church to board their boat.

If anyone would've told him this was how it all turned out twelve years back, Poldi wouldn't have believed them. Now, he only whistles as Venice air buffeted his face and holds Monika's hand. They made it out alright after all. Him with two kids and Bastian starting a new chapter of his life as a husband. Everything worked out just fine.

Not like it had started.

Monika was love at first sight, but Schweini was his other half.

Lukas at nineteen had clear-cut ideas on what he wanted out of life, but it was only fitting that the two most important people in his life besides his parents decided to put a wrench into those plans as soon as they arrived into his life. After all there wasn't rules to living, not like football. 

He met Monika first and for that he was glad. She was already too mature for her years while he was still growing into himself. Lukas didn't let the separate beat in his chest tell him what to do with his love life because it didn't matter. He knew plenty of people who weren't with their soulmate. His mind was made up Monikas Puchalski would fall in love with him and they would live happily ever after. His soulmate would just have to accept them as a package deal. 

"Why did you ever give me a chance?" He once asked, years later, on the cusp of fatherhood. He is sullen and everything in the universe is pointing at him to become something he doesn't know he can be. Monika had never asked for much from him. She takes his hand, laces their fingers together and doesn't flinch or hesitate with her answer.

"You made me laugh, and I needed that more than anything." His hearts thunder. Lukas brushes his lips against her knuckles, soft and tender. He needed to talk to Schweini. 

"I won't make you regret giving me that chance," he declares, much more gravely than is necessary but Monika smiles gently. Pregnancy suited her in some ways, making her softer and more grounded, stronger than him always. 

"Lukas, go," she lets go of his hand, knowing what had hurt him the most was the awful way he had left things with Bastian. Bayern was not just a single player, that was what was drilled into them from the first day on the squad yet he had forgotten it as soon as things went wrong. There was no way to escape your soulmate and the hurt he caused put both of them in pain. 

He stood up to drive or call or anything to right the wrong, but not before bending to kiss Monika's forehead.

"Thank you."

They had kissed a handful of times, in the way kids do, experimenting with the length and breadth of it. Lukas always thought it was some sort of bizarre apology on Schweini's behalf for the way they had settled and his bad reaction.

"I'm not gay," Bastian paces in Völler's office. Having two players getting winded at the same time to the point of dropping to the field, clutching at their chests, well, it was easy to conclude what had happened. Science called it the breaking point, when both of their hearts would sync up and steady to follow each other's homeostatic regulation. 

"No one said you were," Lukas points out quietly, calmer than he actually felt. Schweini couldn't have missed the odd moments when their hearts would match before this. He had thought it was an understood subject between them. That was a classic symptom of being soulmates. The more proximity and time spent together, the faster it went. Lukas didn't think it would hurt as much as it did though. 

It must've been called heartbreak for that reason.

"You're my soulmate," He repeats to himself somewhat stupidly, anger bleeding away to confusion. 

Lukas feels the urge to touch him, to steady him but knows it would be the wrong move when Schweini was still processing. 

"I'm bisexual," His voice is hushed, even though the office is empty beyond the both of them. "Just thought I should share, before you got the wrong idea. Monika isn't a fake girlfriend or anything." He continues a little more bravely, watching Bastian's face fall and go red to the top of his ears. 

"Poldi-Lukas, I didn't," he drops back into the empty chair and heaves a giant sigh, rubbing at his eyes like a little boy, "I didn't meant it that way. I had expectations, I guess." Lukas feels like Schweini carefully doesn't mention the elephant in the room in the form of Dani. For some reason, he didn't get the feeling it was the same as his case with Monika. 

"Sorry to disappoint," he chirps with fake enthusiasm. Bastian huffs, flicking his arm, almost getting back to their normal state of behavior.

"You should be, now I'm really stuck with you." 

Soulmates didn't have to mean being in love but privately, Lukas wouldn't have minded because it was Schweini.

Bayern was supposed to be the next step. Cologne was a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond, Poldi wasn't sure which it was but Bayern should've been the answer. Miro and Bastian and a bigger dream than getting promoted to top flight football. 

He is swept away by the red and white until like Icarus he is burnt for soaring too high.

"Poldi," Bastian is sharing his room like usual for away games. His hands are on his lap, listless. He had the naive hope Hitzfeld would take him more seriously after the World Cup. Miro and him could work in a partnership. The proof was there, even if they had crashed out as a team. Lukas grips his shorts, his head filled with too many thoughts and unanswered questions.

Bastian repeated himself, slowly approaching, ending up sitting next to him on the bed. "Poldi, tell me," Lukas turned his head to the side, throat swallowing down the urge to cry. 

"I don't want to talk, Basti." His eyes look downward, but he doesn't get the chance to do anything about the tears gathering in his eyes out of frustration with everything, because Schweini takes his face in his hands and leans in to meet his blurred stare. Lukas' hands go up, unsure if he wanted to push him away or keep him close. 

"Then just listen to me. This isn't the end." His voice is pitched low, fierce with intensity, Lukas blinks and the blonde takes that as a go ahead. "Screw all of them. All that matters is what's in your heart." He makes some sort of strangled noise, choking on a response. His lips tremble as tears find Bastian's hands. Lukas doesn't know what it's in his heart anymore, not since Basti settled in with his. 

But he won't say that out loud. 

Bayern was always in Basti's heart. Lukas just got caught up and tangled in that desire. 

Bastian doesn't kiss him but he stays with him, curled up in bed until Lukas stops crying in his arms. Comfort comes in the shape of falling asleep together, hearing the stereo of his own heartbeat. 

"We've got a better chance at beating Bayern than you do at being top of the league. You'll see Tobi, it's not all glory and legend at United." Basti makes a face at both the use of "we" and the mention of Arsenal beating Bayern. He held onto the grudge for Poldi's sake and Lukas found that absolutely hilarious. 

He had always tried to sway Tobi to support the Gunners but in the end, he stuck to the unfortunate team Basti had transferred to instead. 

Visiting Manchester was strange for him. He had only been in the area for games as a player so visiting as a guest had him looking around with new eyes. What had started as a simple errand turned into a trip where Basti was forced to play tour guide to both his brother and Lukas. Tobi had taken it into stride, laughing at every antic and squabble it resulted in. 

"Is Ana around? I'm sure she would be much nicer." Poldi teases and gets a withering look from Basti in return.

"I think Basti purposefully schedules us around Ana's schedule," Tobi adds, not above ribbing his little brother about his girlfriend.

Lukas pouts. He had met Ana once since Basti had taken whirlwind romance to heart but he had a feeling that had been Basti's plan, if only to avoid Poldi using his tripping heartbeat as fodder for more embarrassment. 

He had only had a few hours with the tennis star but he had a good feeling about this one. 

Maybe it was too soon to tell, but Lukas could feel and see the difference in Basti with Ana and he was happier for it. Maybe that was Basti's influence as well. 

"Stop whining, the both of you or else I won't feed you." Lukas snorts out a laugh, because Bastian had never mastered cooking enough to have a dinner party with or without a girlfriend. Tobi takes advantage of Basti's distraction to ruffle his hair that looked grayer with the overcast Manchester sky. 

They had become old men, Lukas thinks fondly.

Waiting on the sidelines isn't one of Poldi's strong suits. He would much rather be in the action than watch it unfold without some sort of input as to what will happen. This is the stage in the world cup that they hadn't reached time and time again and Lukas had to stay put as the world waited with baited breath.

His hearts beat like a drum steadily going with Basti's pace. He felt so completely in tune with his soulmate that he could almost feel the pain and exhaustion Bastian felt after 112 minutes of gameplay. When Aguero fouls him, Poldi's head reeled, being so focused on Bastian. It takes the wind out of him. 

Blood drips down Basti's face and his anger is on display. 

Lukas thinks it's red card worthy but the ref doesn't seem to think so even as Basti is escorted off the field by the medical staff. 

It is a shock when not even a minute later, Andre passes the ball to Mario and he scores. 

His heart goes wild. Lukas can't believe it and still doesn't as Basti runs over to him to celebrate, completely bypassing congratulating Mario for his goal. 

"What are you doing?" His voice does something funny, between crying and laughing, knowing deep in his gut that this was it, they were going to be champions. They were going to win and take the cup home with them. Bastian lifts him up with his arms, squeezing as he goes. 

"Can you feel it? Can you feel everyone believing in us?" He practically shouts in glee, letting him go only as far as holding his arms to keep a bridge between them. 

Lukas shoves him away, smile wide enough to swallow the sun. 

"Get back in the game, Fussballgott," He laughs but he can't hear it over the applause, the cheers in the stadium. Basti trots back, the number seven on his back stark against the white. Pride makes his head swim. The concluding minutes are simultaneously a blur and agonizingly long. When the final whistle blows, he shouts, plucking up the crest on his shirt to kiss it before going to join the rest.

 _We did it,_ his heart sings. _We did it._

**Author's Note:**

> Saying goodbye to an era. This may be my last "real" schweinski piece.


End file.
